He's Everywhere + Nowhere

Your husband died, and all of a sudden, he's everywhere + nowhere at the same time.

You hear his voice in your head.

You expect him to walk through the door.

You swear you saw him in the crowed at the grocery store.

Your brain knows he's gone, but your body isn't convinced.

✨Seeing + hearing + imagining him —

It’s an actual thing called phantom presence—the way he lingers in the spaces he used to fill.

✨You automatically think, I should ask him about that,
only to remember he’s not here.

✨You glance across the room and swear you saw him sitting in his usual chair.

✨ You’re in the middle of something and have the thought, Oh, he’s going to love this story, before remembering there’s no one to tell.

t’s not just memory. It’s something deeper.

It’s the feeling that, at any moment, he might walk in, laugh at an inside joke, or call your name from the other room.

👀Why does this happen?

Because your brain spent years—maybe even decades—mapping your life around him. Your nervous system memorized his footsteps, his scent, his habits.

🤍His presence wasn’t just something you noticed—
it was something your brain relied on to feel safe.

👀So, what do you do now?

💫Acknowledge it. When you hear their voice or feel their presence, remind yourself: “This is my brain trying to protect me. I am safe.”

💫Talk to them if it helps. Some widows find comfort in speaking out loud: “I know you’re not here, but I still feel you everywhere.”

💫Give yourself grace. Your brain is catching up. It’s learning how to be in the world without them.

💫Keep learning about your widow brain. This will give you lots of self-compassion + fresh perspective.

With you + for you,
🖤Bethany